The writings of an imperfect military wife and mom to six about the chaos and adventure of everyday life.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Submission brings peace

* I actually wrote this a little over a year ago but never published it.  We are in Texas now but the concept still applies today.


Ephesians 5:24

New International Version (NIV)
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything

Submission. That 10 letter word that can change the atmosphere of a room as soon as it is spoken.  I have to admit after 11 years of marriage, I would pick and choose when I would follow the biblical  role of submission to my husband. Mainly if it suit my needs then I would submit. If not I would "be simply expressing my opinion" or at least that was how I justify it in my mind. The truth was when it came to the big stuff my emotions an not my love for my husband or God took control.
Last week I had an "aha" moment where I finally understood fully the role of a submission in a marriage.

Let me start from the beginning. My husband is active duty Military. We were on recruiting duty in our home state of Ohio from 2008 -2011 where we purchased a home. After the tour was over we were sent to S. Georgia and the house in Ohio became rental property. The plan in my husbands eyes was to return to that home  when he retires in 2018. I have no desire to return to Ohio and I have made that clear for 2 years now. Although I grew up in Ohio I am not a fan of snow and we get a ton of it up there. Plus I love sunshine and hot  days, two things  that only occur  for a short time in Ohio. For 2 years it has been a point of contention between us. 2 years seriously all that time I wasted getting upset when Ohio was mentioned. Griping to everyone how I don't want to go back . Looking for jobs in the 49 other states of America . I was bound and determined to make my husband see it my way and agree.
That was until last week . I have been reading thru unveiled wiifes devoutional book and one morning felt very convictedon the issue of Ohio. I knew in my heart my behavior was not pleasing to God. I was not being supportive of my husband and his desire to move back to Ohio. Submission is about putting the other person first. Just as Jesus put the church first by paying the ultimate sacrifice we as wives are called  to submit to our  husbands. Now let me stop and say if your in any way in a harmful situation  get help. God does not call us to submit to our husbands in a way that is harmful to ourselves.
All day I prayed as I went about my daily routines. Reminding God how much I don't like Ohio [and seriously it is the weather I do like the state and have many friends and famly there} . By the time my husband came home and he was griiling dinner for that night I new my heart was ready to talk.  Basically I told my husband I was tired of fighting over moving back to Ohio and that if we go then that is fine with me.I will no longer complain about going and will have a positive outlook if tat is where we end uo after he retires, Needless to say he was shocked and thrilled, but for me there was something more ...peace, I felt this overwhelming peace after I had truly submitted to my husband just as God calls us to . It was like this heavy burdon was lifted of my shoulders. I felt peace about moving for the first time in 2 years.
A week has passed since that conversation. Ohio has come up a few times and I just keep being an ecoragement and focusing on the positives. Funny thing happened after dinner tonight, my husband floated the idea of taking a job in Nevada [warmth and sunshine !!!!!]
So submission is not meant to bring you down or make you feel oppressed, In fact it is quiet the opposite. It brings peace in your heart and peace in your family.
What about you? how has submission affected you life?

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

A new opportunity...

I am happy to announce that beginning in September, I will be joining the team of wonderful writers over at Homemakers Challenge! I will still be posting here as well. My goal is 3 times a week [M,W, F] with link ups when I post over there. I will be focusing on Military life over at Homemakers Challenge and I hop you join me! Meanwhile check the site out, it is a great blog that is a huge encouragement and a wonderful team I am proud to be apart of!

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Sometimes you just have to throw on a skirt [do what makes you feel beautiful}

Today was one of those days, you know the days you wish you could have a do over. Climb back in bed and just start again. That's what I wanted to do around lunch time today. I had been up since 6am and by noon I was ready to throw in the towel.

But sometimes you just have to throw on a skirt; or do whatever makes you feel beautiful. For me its a skirt or a dress and maybe a necklace.  Now trust me I am not talking pearls and heals here while I vacuum the rug. Nothing fancy just comfortable.

Today was one of those days. My oldest had football camp at 7:45 so I was up early getting him out the door. I tossed on running clothes because my intention was to get my run in as soon as I got home. I never got my run in today, as  the second I walked in the door I was greeted to my other 5 ready to start the day. Breakfast to make, sheets to take off the bed, fights to break up, hair to brush, and  my to do list grew longer and longer. By 10 o'clock I realized I had accomplished nothing and yet it was time to go. I needed to get my son's bus schedule/pass before I picked him up from camp. The hours just seemed to tick by and I could feel myself becoming more and more drained.

On the way home, we made a quick stop at the commissary for something for dinner and toilet paper. Not sure where it all goes :) Then it was time to get home and fix lunch for everyone including my husband who came home for a quick bite to eat. I would love to say I greeted him with a smile on my face and a 'Hi Honey! How was your morning?" but  that was not the case. It was more like "I'm so tired" and "your so lucky you get paid to do your job" [yes keep in mind my husband is a soldier who has deployed 4 times and been on countless mini missions]. Honestly, if I was him I would not came home for lunch. Maybe I should send disclaimer text's on bad days. 'Walk in at your own risk" J/K.

By the time lunch was over, I looked at my oldest two and informed them to keep an eye on the younger kids,  I was finally going to take a shower. I went upstairs and  gave my self. a time out.
I read thru one of my favorite devotion books for mom's called Manna for Mom's and started to regenerate. By the time I finished my shower, it was time to get dressed for the day. On days like today I  pull out one of my favorite skirts, or a simple dress. Something to make myself feel a little less frumpy and brighten my mood and spirits. Simple, yet something that makes me feel a little better as I tackle my day.

What about you? What do you do when you have those do over days? How do you give yourself  a "push" when your having a bad day?

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Reflections on our 15th move.... and maybe its time to blog again!

We have officially been moved into our new home in Texas for 10 days now. Boxes have been unpacked and hauled away [thank goodness] . Not too many things were broken or lost [ although the printer cable is still MIA along with the patio chairs :) ].  Plus, I have successfully made it to Target twice this week and not ended up in Mexico!

I have been down this road before. I am not what they would consider a "new" Army wife any more. In reality this is our 15th home we have lived in over the last 12 years of marriage. You would think by now moving would be simple and I would have nothing to learn from this experience. But that is the beauty of life, we always have something to learn.

Here is what I have learned from this last move [and no it wont be our "last]......
  • Moving stinks. You are worn out, schedules are off, and you really just want your clothes out of a suitcase.  But you know what? It is ok to look at your spouse and say that. No one every says "I love moving" or "Please can we move again". Numerous times during this move, and during unpacking my husband and I would look at each other and say "moving stinks" and then continue on. Admit it, then say it out loud, trust me you will feel much better .
  • Kids need some grace and a lot of patience. The last time we moved our kids were 18m 3,4,5, 8, and 10 and most of them were to little to understand moving. This time the kids were 4, 6, 7 ,8 , 11, and 13 and trust me they understood moving. Emotions were high, behavior was crazy, and while we always tell our children "rules don't change" during the move we were just a little more flexible and gave a lot of grace.
  • Routines and familiarity are key. My children have chores. They have routines they are used to. It is how are family runs and functions. Establishing the same routines and schedules we had in our previous home as soon as possible was key. It not only gives you a chance to salvage your sanity, it also reestablishes the sense of security  and familiarity for your children. Trying to get back to routines as soon as possible is very important.
  • Jump in with two feet. Start looking for things in your community as soon as possible. Don't wait till all the boxes are unpacked and the house is perfect. It never will be ;) Start visiting churches, look for local MOPS, women's bible study or other groups to meet people. Talk to your neighbors.  Head out to your community and explore. Facebook is a great resource for this. Make it fun and keep a positive attitude, especially when you get lost!
So, what about you? What have you learned from moving? What tips do you have to make the transition smoother?
* On a blogging note I am hoping to write some more now that we are settled. So check back from time to time and see what I am posting about!

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

New Year New Bible Study

One of the aspects in my goal to "be intentional" is to in my daily Bible study time.  This week over at Good Morning Girls they are having sign ups for their next online Bible study entitled Intentionally Focused. The great thing is this Bible study is free! All you have to do is click on the link and sign up. The study sign ups are going on now and the study will begin January 20th.

Beginning the week of Jan 20th, I will be posting my thoughts and reflections 1x per week [maybe more}. Will you join me?

Friday, January 3, 2014

Finding Motivation

Yesterday, my kids [all 6 of them] and my self were sick. This would not have been a huge deal except my husband is out of town right now so I am the only parent in the house. All I wanted to do was sleep. My kids while some slept most of the day, others just slowed down a bit. Meals still had to be made, laundry still done. The only thing I was able to avoid was the grocery store which I will tackle today.

I found my self laying on the couch feeling sorry for my self. My husband was in warm and sunny Arizona and I was here in cold, and rainy Georgia sick with sick kids. The feeling sorry for myself started to creep into all aspects of my day. I needed to get some work done for my Thirty-One  business, but I started to feel overwhelmed. That's when the feeling sorry for myself started to turn to self doubt.

I started to compare my self to how others in my company were doing. I started thinking negative thoughts such as well if I had done this or that I would have my January all booked up. What if people say no what happens then. I will letting the self doubt creep in.

I needed to listen to a recorded training video for my business. It was something I chose to do to help get me started. I let the kids watch a movie and put the headphones on and started listening.
Sometimes God uses other peoples words to help you refocus and find your motivation. Sometimes He uses it to stomp on the self doubt that creeps into our lives. Sometimes he knows exactly what you need to hear.

One of the quotes from last night was "Don't be paralyzed by your past, but motivated by your future" [reference from training call via averagetoexcellence.com] That is so me! So, often I find my self holding back for fear of what has happened in the past, that I can not see the future.

So, my question for you today this 3rd day in the New Year, is where are you? Are there things you always wanted to do that are holding you back? Do you have goals and resolutions not met in 2013 that can be met in 2014. Go for them! Pray and ask God to lead you on the path he has designed for you and go full steam ahead.

Monday, December 30, 2013

New Years Resolutions

In just two day it will be 2014! It's hard to believe another year is past and a new one is just beginning. 2014 will be a big year for my family as we move to Texas this summer for my husbands job in the Army. There is much excitement and anticipation for this move because it will not only be a huge change for us [we have only ever lived on the East coast], it will also put us closer to family which is wonderful.

I have been thinking about New Years' resolutions the past few days. What changes do I want to make in my own life, as a couple, as a family? While I have thought of a lot of things such as
be more organized, have quiet time more consistently, and be more patient; I have a desire to go even deeper this year.

That's why I am choosing one simple phrase to apply to all areas of my life.

Rather its taking care of my home, spending time with my family, focusing on my quiet time, working on my goals for my home business with Thirty-One, or writing post for this blog this is my goal. I am not sure what it looks like, that's where Faith comes in. I just know that my heart says be intentional about all aspects of my life.
I plan on posting how this plays out here on my blog along with many other aspects of everyday life. Do you plan on making resolutions this year, or are you choosing a word or phrase and applying it to your everyday life like I am?
I hope you and your family have a wonderful New Year and a wonderful 2014.